There have been many seasons for me over the last 34 years. Each one of them I have either thrived or survived, but from every season, I have learned amazing lessons about who I am, Who I wish to become and how to get there. Some of these lessons have been delivered like a crashing of thunder and some have only been noticed by being told that I am different by others. My season of becoming a family was bittersweet as my father passed away as it began. It took me 5 years to process and shift into the person I wanted to be. My season of becoming a working mom was absolute shit! I screwed it up for the first 2 years by overdoing it and losing connection with most of the important people in my life. It took another year to repair those relationships and 4 more years after that to learn work life balance. Seasons are about change. Seasons are never permanent. I still don’t like either of those statements, but they have always and will always be true. For a long time, I worked to accept that and today I finally embrace it.
Today my life consistently follows the natural rhythms of life. Well, it follows the natural rhythms of life to the extent that I keep spiritually connected to my God. Some seasons are more aligned than others. I say that because I’m human and I’m here to have an experience, not be perfect. I am currently about to start a new life season as my kids start to go out into the world on their own and live their own lives. I’m preparing for the next season by making myself accountable to my sisterhood and the Spirit of the Universe. For me being an alcoholic means that I must be in the present moment to stay connected to Sunlight of the Spirit. This is the best place to make the choices of my life. My sponsor told me all the time “The choices you make, create the reality you live in”. I take more chances today than ever before because I know that it’s okay to make a mess. I will learn all the lessons I need no matter what I choose, and this season of life will end, and I will get more opportunities in the next one. My life proves that seasons change and that Grace meets us in every one of them.
Celebrating 34 years of Sobriety
Hi! My name is Beth and I’m an alcoholic. I woke up hungover for the last time on August 22nd, 1991. I was 17. I am now 51 and 34 years sober. How do I know that I’m a real alcoholic and wasn’t just a confused and hurt teenager? I know because I have thoroughly searched in myself and my life and fully understand that when I drink and use drugs, I can’t stop. And when I couldn’t drink and use at all, it was all I could focus on, ultimately putting my entire life to the side in the pursuit of alcohol. I was plucked from that life by a Power greater than me.
When I first got sober, I was homeless.My father had a restraining order on me and mom kicked me out. I stayed with people in AA, I stayed in my car, I lived at a halfway house once. I stayed sober by the Grace of God. I went to 14 meetings a week. AA was the only solid thing in my life. I could get jobs but couldn’t keep them. I would rent a room to stay in but then wouldn’t be able to pay for it. I got into a harmful relationship and couldn’t get out of it, until one day I prayed to God that I couldn’t do this anymore. I didn’t know it that day, but my life was about to completely change. Over the next year I was able to begin to connect with life’s natural rhythms and I began to make choices in the present moment based on what I wanted my life to really be instead of what I felt forced to live like. I found a stable place to live and got a job that I was able to keep showing up at for the next two years. From there God put people and opportunities in my path for me to choose from and the life I live today is a reality because of those choices.
Beth B.
